"The Rules" Including those relating to the consumption of bugs

After a few minutes of discussion,  the contenders sort of agreed to the following rules. Like everything else relate to the challenge most are subject to change or being ignored.

Major Rules

16 sq m of garden plot.

 

Organic growing but no copper sprays (as they’re not really organic)

Grow what you want when you want from your plot.

Eat what you can from your plot.

Supplementary Rules

Bartering produce from the plot with the other challenger is allowable, but must be accompanied by derisive taunts of ‘bad gardener’ from the party being asked to barter.

The consumption of protein containing arthropods, molluscs, arachnids, insects or mammals that may live or stray into the plot area is prohibited. This includes but is not confined to worms, slaters, earwigs, blowflies, slugs, snails, aphid colonies, rats, mice, possums, or the neighbours cat Leroy. Accidentally consuming hairy spiders whilst sleeping is acceptable due to the unavoidable nature of such an event.

200 gms of external carbs per day in total is allowable provided that they are eaten as part of a dish containing the garden produce. Carbs can comprise oats, cooked rice, bread in any combination. However, gaining weight during the challenge week will result in immediate disqualification.

Salt, pepper, coffee, beer, wine, single malt scotch is allowed in any quantity. Consumption of tea and Irish whisky is allowable but only if accompanied with statements referring to ‘camp gardener’ by the other party.

A maximum of 1 litre of good Australian extra virgin olive oil per day is allowed. It can be used on any food, but cannot be eaten au naturale.

Dairy is not allowable unless it is collected from a direct ‘lation (up to, but excluding 2^nd cousins). In the unlikely event of dairy being available, it must be shared equally and consumed by both challengers.

Any other rules that we make up as we go, provided that the challengers both agree.

The Essence of Man versus Carrot - a must read

Despite the incredibly biased contender profiles by @JenkoBianco, Man vs Carrot is not a competition. It’s about two close and proudly carnivorous friends sharing knowledge and experience about organic vege gardening to get them through a week of surviving only off their vege patches.

In reality we’ve shared lots of stuff over the years –a bunch of usually useless observations, self seeded lettuces and weeds (affectionally known as ‘volunteers’) and mouldy left over peletitised organic fertilisers (to name a few). Even Paul's hastily constructed and drafty backyard pizza oven is even built with the old fireplace bricks of Richard and Simone’s 1905 house. Most importantly, we’ve spent hundreds of hours pissing in each others ears about how our gardens are going (at approximately 1 lager and 2-3 whinges about our respective wives per hour), and a bunch of laughs about nothing in particular.

The Conteners: Richard G.

In the North East corner is “Richard” aka @oliveoilguy (Google Earth Coordinates 34 57 50.83S 138 35 31.70 E). He has been farming his small plot for a decade so he’s at least got some idea. Both his teenage girls are happy to live on 100 gms of food a day and he is more of the landed gentry owning (with a little help of the Banks), a smaller but more exclusive plot a mere kilometre away from the SoF. He has no chickins or worm farms (as his local authorities don’t allow it as noisey worms piss his neighbours off no end. Not surprising as the average age of the suburb is a grumpy 98 according to the recent census).

But he does have science on his side. Paul has trained as an environmental scientist at a regional university, and Richard as a real scientist at one of the ivy league unis, so he has a big advantage there. He also has a weather station on site so he'll always have his finger on the environmental pulse. 

But he won't underestimate the Bianco as despite being educated in Queensland, he is an accomplished and wily vege gardener.

The Contenders: Paul J.

In the South-West corner is “Paul” aka twittername @JenkoBianco (Google Earth Coordinates. 34 58 14.98S 138 35 11.24E ) He is an accomplished chickin raisin, worm farmin type from one of the Adelaide “suburbs of fear” (SoF). Trained in the dark art of environmental science; in real life, he flys around in helicopters in the Top End of Australia surveying the land that the organisation he works for is thinking about buying to improve the lives of indigenous Australians.

While he owns more arable land than an average Rwandan or LA peasant, his two teenage sons eat him out of house and garden (while driving him nuts in the process). Despite his ‘desperate’ circumstances, the rules of MvC state that the area devoted to “The Challenge” (from hereafter referred to as “The Challenge”) are the same - pick 16 sq m of your backyard to growing veges and do it.